Okay so I know I haven’t logged in for a few days but it’s been a random sort of week. I couldn’t do my fitness challenge at the start due to “unforeseen circumstances”, though to be fair I’m not sure how unforeseen said circumstances were; I may be short-sighted but even I should I have seen that one coming- that when I’m allowed to cook, terrible things will happen. Last time I managed to set pancakes on fire (I kid you not… I hadn’t even realised it was possible. Looked pretty groovy though! :D). This time I accidentally gave myself food poisoning so was stuck in bed for three days. But all is well now and on the plus side, guys can’t make “women in the kitchen” jokes around me anymore :P
But things are going really well for me now. I’ve just started work for the summer- got an internship in college so I’m doing research and building microscopes- and I’m absolutely loving it so far. I feel like I’ve really found my place in life. I know that’s a pretty big statement for someone who’s only 20, but somehow I know that physics is just what I’m meant to do. I’m not even sure how to explain this feeling, but it’s so much more than simply finding the subject interesting. Even the people in the department are wonderful. There was a time not so long ago when people went out of their way to avoid me; today post grad students who didn’t even have to be around me actually came over to me to invite me out for coffee. Things are so different now to how they were in school, but I’m not going to look back at those days in hatred anymore. I’m going to look back and be thankful for them, because they make me appreciate the good things all the more.
There was a time in school when all I felt was darkness and unhappiness. If I could go back in time and tell my past self that I’d be smiling all the way home on the bus in the evenings now, I know my past self wouldn’t believe it. But if I can find this kinda of happiness, I honestly believe everyone can- the key is not giving up hope :)
Thanks for reading