The guys in my class said that I’m like a totally different person this (academic) year- in a good way. According to them, I used to be very shy and wouldn’t really talk to anyone; now I’m much more “out of my shell”. I’ve been reflecting on that and…yeah, I guess it’s true. For a long time, I had very low confidence; now, even though I’m still not the most confident person in the world, I feel that I’ve come a long way. Talking to new people, taking new risks, etc- doesn’t scare me half as much as it used to and for that, I’m thankful.
So here are some tips I’ve found helpful; if you have trouble with your confidence like I had, maybe you might find them useful too :)
1. Think of someone you know who’s confident
And ask yourself: what is it about them that shows their confidence? It doesn’t even have to be someone you like; the girl I thought of certainly wasn’t at the top of my Christmas card list.
2. Improve your posture
The confident girl I knew had perfect posture: she walked with her head held high, shoulders back, chin up. It was just one thing that showed her confidence. And don’t slouch- it’s not just bad for your back but it’s also a characteristic of low confidence.
3. If you don’t like something about yourself- change it
If you want to lose a few pounds- go for it. If you’re sick of your hair, get a new haircut. Sometimes it might even the smallest of changes like wearing new clothes that make you feel better
4. But if you can’t change it- accept it
In the words of Tyrion Lannister: “Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you”. My speech impediment was one of my biggest insecurities (I pronounce ‘r’s like ‘w’s and ‘s’ sounds are fairly hit and miss) and something that people used to mock me for. But my brother always told me that my speech is part of who I am- it’s something that makes me unique. Comments people make about it now don’t hurt me like they used to. Likewise when I first got the scar on my knee… I saw it as something ugly; it’s not ugly to me anymore- it’s actually something that’s an interesting talking point :)
5. Fake it til you make it
If you fake confidence long enough, eventually you’ll end up believing you’re confident. Hold your head high and smile even if you’re feeling more uncomfortable than you thought possible.
6. Forgive yourself for past mistakes
Move on from the past but learn from your mistakes. It’s not always easy, but being hung up on the past won’t do you any favours. We live in the present; no matter how much we might want to, we can’t change the past, but least we can learn from it and improve from it.
7. Don’t let other people get to you
Because they can only bring you down if you let them.
8. Tell yourself you can do this
Because you can. Tell yourself you are a great person and things other people say can’t hurt you. Because once you get it into your head that something is impossible- it certainly does feel like that.
Thanks for reading